Know Yourself, Grow Yourself: why self-awareness is as important in parenting as it is for children

Head of Parenting – Cecilia is a BACP accredited counsellor, clinical supervisor and parenting coach with over 20 years of experience delivering counselling, therapeutic services and supervision within schools and private practice. She joined Place2Be in 2003 and is incredibly passionate about supporting parents and carers to achieve the best possible outcomes for children.
Self-awareness can help parents to get the best out of themselves and their child. Place2Be's Head of Parenting, Cecilia Corbetta, has shared examples of how self-awareness can help you grow as a parent.

‘But all my friends are allowed!!’ has become one of the most frequent complaints in my household when I say ‘no’ to something. The ‘something’ in question is almost always immaterial. It could be wearing makeup, playing a computer game, using certain apps…the pattern of my interaction with my teen daughter remains the same. She brings up the unfairness of the boundaries we have set in our family. I feel attacked and criticised, immediately worry about ‘being good enough’ and very quickly react by lecturing her on why she should be grateful for what she has.
It has taken numerous conversations with trusted friends and lots of journalling to gain some insight into this interaction. But becoming aware how I feel in this scenario has been a game changer in helping me put some space between those feelings and my response. This is, in essence, why self-awareness is key to parenting and can impact positively on both us parents and our children.
Parenting is an ongoing journey that requires resilience, adaptability, and, most importantly, self-awareness. Self-awareness begins with understanding ourselves – our thoughts, emotions, and reactions. When we're in tune with our own feelings, we are better equipped to manage strong emotions in challenging parenting situations. Instead of reacting impulsively in moments of frustration or stress like the one I shared earlier, we can pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully.
This Children’s Mental Health Week the theme is around Know Yourself, Grow Yourself. These are some of the ways in which self-awareness can help ‘Grow Yourself’ as a parent.
Strengthens parent-child relationships
When we are aware of our own needs, values, and communication styles, we can more effectively ‘tune into’ our children’s needs as well. Being present and empathic in interactions allows for deeper connections. Becoming more aware of how our tone of voice or body language might be experienced can help us communicate in ways that make our children feel heard and understood.
Reduces unnecessary conflict
Many conflicts between parents and children arise from miscommunication, misunderstanding, or mismatched expectations. Self-awareness allows us to reflect on our triggers and patterns of behaviour, so that we can handle challenges in a calm(er) and intentional way.
Breaks negative generational cycles
Our own upbringing often influences the way we parent. By understanding the influence of our own childhood experiences, we can ‘break the cycle’ and choose healthier approaches to discipline, communication, and emotional expression.
Becoming aware and working through issues (sometimes with the help of a therapist) can also be an opportunity to heal and grow as individuals.
Encourages emotional intelligence in children
Children learn by example. By modelling how to manage difficult emotions, practice self-reflection, and communicate openly, we provide children with a valuable toolkit for navigating their own feelings and relationships.
Promotes healthy boundaries and self-care
Parenting can be all-consuming, and as parents it's easy to lose sight of our own needs. Self-aware parents recognize the importance of self-care and maintaining healthy boundaries. We know that to be effective and nurturing parents, we must first take care of our own physical, emotional, and mental well-being. When we learn to notice we are ‘running on empty’, we can take steps, however small, to support our well-being, build our resilience and find the joy in parenting.
Parenting is as much about us growing individually as it is about guiding and nurturing our children. Being self-aware doesn’t mean being perfect—it means being conscious of one’s emotions, behaviours, and responses, and using personal insight to inform actions.
Ultimately, self-awareness not only benefits parents but also lays the foundation for healthier, happier children.
Top tips for building self-awareness
For Children's Mental Health Week, we've put together some tips and advice on how to build self-awareness in your child and the whole family.
More parenting tips, advice and articles
Place2Be's Parenting Smart website is jam-packed of articles, videos and advice to help you support your child's wellbeing and behaviour